The One With Social Awkwardness

Current Mood: Contemplative
Current Music: BBMAK Into Your Head


I ran across this article in my school paper last week and I have wanted to share it with you every since...but I knew I would have to type it all in, so I waited till I was sufficiently motivated. I got my midterm today in World Lit. It has to be in my professors hands on Tuesday before the bell tower tolls 2:00pm. I'm not kidding. It's just an essay (which I LOVE!) There are no real tests in this class, just papers to write. None of them are required to have outside sources (in fact, this one is not allowed to have any quotations!), so I am in writer's heaven! I will ponder this weekend and maybe write a little, but will finish the essay on Monday. This class is fantastic! If you don't already know, it's the only class I got to choose this semester. For the others, I had to go with whatever would fit my schedule. The teacher is funny, cynical (always a plus), and realistic. Monday is "Campus Awareness Day" which means that Juniors and Seniors from around Texas will be on campus learning more about Baylor. ..

So we are not having class. :-) Hee hee hee. None of us wanted to be up here any more than we had to with all the highschoolers running around, so he encouraged us each to "find an aspect of the campus and be made more aware of it" as long as it wasn't our classroom. LOVE IT!


I was supposed to be in Ovilla today for the State Fair, but Bear ate some REALLY old stuff from the trash (that was growing new stuff) and proceeded to reproduce it throughout the afternoon for my entertainment. Then I fell asleep (only to be awakened by my goof of a roommate for the third time to ask me to grab something she forgot...What was it? Um....I forgot ;-), so didn't quite make it back today. I am headed up there tomorrow though for the fair. YEAH! In case you didn't know, the fair is all about the food. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Actually, I may just make a new top 10 list of the best things at the fair (half of which will surely be food)...Watch for it! Now, since I have some time on my hands...on to the article! I am duplicating it here because it sounds EXACTLY like something I could have written. Seriously, I have thought many of the things Peter mentions. Plus, it made me laugh...I was apparently a bit distracting in the CSB when I read it (sheesh...don't these people know that between 1 and 2 on Mondays and Wednesdays, the lobby belongs to ME?! Honestly...)So, here is the article.


"Waves, handshakes source of social awkwardness" by Peter Anzollitto

I do not think I am a socially inept individual, but lately society's rules have been getting me down. There are just so many of them.
Consider this: How many ways are there for you to greet another person? Now consider this: How many ways are there for you to mess up that greeting?
The worst feeling in the world is to think someone is waving at you and while you are returning the gesture you realize that they were actually aiming for the person behind you.
Two social faux pas have just occurred.
Primarily, you have waved at a person who obviously did not want to wave at you.
Secondly, you have now forced impending polite conversation on someone who did not even want to acknoweledge you even though you were in direct line of sight.
This is why the hlaf-wave was created.
Come now, surely you know of which I speak. It is that half-hearted, half-elevated motion that could be a wave or a stretch depending on what reaction it receives. Essentially, the half-wave is a social scout - exploring the vast unknown, ready to spring into a full wave at a moment's notice.
Although this scenario is by far one of the worst, social rules create many undesirable situations. Take for examply the First Meeting.
I often find myself meeting people who want to engage me in complex hand-shakery. I am a simple man and enjoy an easy-going up and down motion. However, many people want to slide, snap and pound fists in any number of combinations.
Why these people think I know their secret handshake I am not quite sure, but I would definitely like a little uniformity in this area.
Timing is also essential in a greeting, especially when walking to class. When approaching, one does not want to initiate eye contact too early for fear of having to look at this person for what seems like an unending stretch of time until they have passed.
In the same vein, if contact is initiated too late the polite, "How are you?" "Good, how are you?" will have to be said partially after the person has already passed.
To avoid these problems altogether, one can do what I like to call a "nonverbal." This maneuver concsists of a fairly violent backward head-jolt where the result is essentially pointing at your target with your chin. I have occasionally seen the reverse of this attempted, which is something akin to a nod, but I do not suggest it. It can be misconstrued as avoiding eye contact.
At all costs, one must resist falling into an overly zealous greeting.
The chances are that both you and the recipient of the greeting are not as enthusiastic to see each other as you have just conveyed. Saccharinely sweet false emotion only really works for a select few, so just avoid doing it.
This is wisdom I have gleaned over the years through laborious trial and error, but mostly error. My hope is that you will remember me every time you enggage in pleasant banter due to an exquisitely executed greeting.

So, that's it. Now I am turning on the pilot episode of Joey with Ashley Scott in it. Have a good night, everyone!

P.S. I added a new song today by BBMAK, check it out!